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Thursday, July 29, 2004
20:17 Has been quite a while since i last blogged... Was rather busy in school. Ever since the school term starts, i hasn't been sleeping well... Maybe my time management just sux huh... Haha... Anyway, this week marks the end of both bball and vball interhouse for me... Did badly for my bball... I guess my stamina is totally gone... *sigh* But for vball. draco still manage to get 2nd... *cheers* Life's been quite peaceful for me lately... Everything was gg well and stuffs supposingly... Haiz... *shrugs* I read this somewhere somehow... Haha... [[[[[Why must you appear in my life again? The sight of you makes me flickle... The sight of you rekinders my soul... The sight of you turned my life upside down... The sight of you make me realise where you stand in my heart... Why must you appear in my life again?]]]]] Saturday, July 24, 2004
Juz a little something
18:17 I looked at them... Satisfaction filled my heart... Music and songs filled the empty still air... Tears flowed continously... I wished i could be where i am suppose to be... But i am already in the shell of her... I don want to get out... But i know i have to... Can't this last abit longer??? Friday, July 23, 2004
Sick, sick and even sicker!!
11:45 On MC today again... Jianzhong must be wondering if i quited school huh... Lolz... Oh well... Had a bad stomache flu... *sigh* Got tons of homework... The more days i never go school, the more stuffs i had to copy... Lecture notes... Tutorials... Study for test... Oh ya... 50 days(ard there) to prelims... So fast huh... Lolz... I am still like playing around making a fool out of my life... There are so much things that i want to do... But there are just so little time. I realise that not everything can be done. No matter what it is, my to-do list is getting longer and longer... Soon i think it is going to flood me up le... Haha... ANyway, today i'm gg to watch pl's musical with char and my nuer... Hope the musical is good tho. I am peeling badly... Haha... My face is a total wreckage... But still, it is not as bad as deanna's... Lolz... Now, having another day of mc, i decided to use my time more wisely... Guess i shld get some homework done and stuffs instead of pilling it up. *shrugs* Oh ya... today is shanice b'day... Happy birthday Shanice...! :P To deanna: Hey, yday at the interhse... Oh well... I look at you, i feel that u r like still living in your little protected world... Coming into JC is like coming to a new society. You are no more protected. You have to do your own stuffs and be on your own feet. My bao bei junior, tho i don't look any older but i think my brain functions abit older than u. DOn't cry just for something which is not worth it and which is somthing small. U shld be a little stronger my girl... This is the process of growing up... And deanna, it's time for u to grow up. We can't be with you helping u foreva... We are leaving next year and it is your turn to take charge. Must jiayou wor! Thursday, July 22, 2004
SIck....
10:31 Guess what, i am sick again. Haiz... Now is stomache flu... Whenever i eat, than i'll feel like vomiting and i will. So today never go school again... Oh well, wvweybody's sick... My nuer is sick... Char is sick... Godz... Germs... Today got bball interhse somemore... Dunno how i play le... -.-... Hope everything's well... Haiz... Oh ya... Guihe... Yday was your bday... so sad that u r sick... Oh well... Get well soon..!! Take care! Tuesday, July 20, 2004
Self Reflections...
20:00 I was sick today. Having migrain since the very first lesson of school. Than feeling nausea somemore... God... I went home at 3... Early right? Haha... Oh well, i was listening to this Cd i have burnt when i was sec 3. It consist of alot of nice songs... Touching songs... Than i decided to look thru my past... All the diaries i have written and stuffs... I can't help it but to notice how much i have changed... The style of writing... The attitude towards life... Oh well, changes is part and parcel of growing up right? In the past, what i see is a very innocent and caring girl... Now i see a jerk... No more innocent. WHY?? Guess what Shanice say is correct. I am a evil person. It is always better being friends with me than my stead. Actually i know wassup with me. Haha... Commitment phobic... Dunno how to put a full stop to things properly... Like to leave things floating... Like to avoid than thrash it out... Not a very forgetful person at certain times for certain things... *shrugs* Guess it is the past that made a person who they are... Haha... ANd i am who i am for myself... So to some ppl out there, like it or not, this is me... wad to do? *sigh* Sunday, July 18, 2004
SteaMbOat With the SeaFood family...
23:26 Haha... Today is alumni... Whoa... Reached sch at 7am just for arranging stuffs and spreading breads... *tired* Today de sun really hot man. I am totally red... Haha... But lucky my skin don burn. And basically i like my tan now. Haha.. *healthy colour* Haiz... today, our batch of bballers are all so demoralize... we can't even play a proper game. Haiz, i felt so guilty tho... Seems that thanks to me and my lousy stamina that i lou ball... *sigh* Sorry friends... Esp gwen, who has to take my rubbish. Play until very xin ku... Why is everybody so rough? Or am i too not rough? I tot is onli play play for the sake of meeting up?? Nah, it's over... Tml is a brand new day i guess... After basketball alumni, me and jas went to eat steamboat with gui n char n miao to sort of celebrate gui's bday. The 2 of us were super tired. But we tried to hang on tho. B4 we went to meet them we still went to buy cake... On the way there, we slept on the train... ZZzzZZ... Haha... We were having a whole load of fun playing with the food, drinks and everything... Plus especially the cream of the cake... We make until almost everywhere all cream. I think jas,char and gui are having alot of fun. *shrugs* Supposingly i was abit too tired to join in the craziness... All 4 of us (didn't know if gui did it manually) tied a knot using the cheery stalk. So cool rite... The 4 great frencher..? Nah, kidding... Than we went off at around 10... At the raffles mrt station, jas suddenly stopped at the end of the escalator trying to disturb charlotte. who noes i was bhind them and that i wasnt wearing shoe but slipper, so my feet nearly got stuck into it. Lucky i didn't so i got 3 scratches on my feet. But it was really pain lo... the skin came off... I pain until i tear man... Godz... Anyway, it is really painful. Lolz... Than after that char's parents send me and gui home as well... Friday, July 16, 2004
Congrats.....
23:16 Hey... guess wad, jasmine got fifth place with a distance of 8.21m for the shot-put nationals... I was so proud of her los... Lolz... But it kinda remind me of our basketball nationals.... *sigh* Wheneva i wear my number 8 basketball jersey, it feels very zai... Got that kind of bball sey. Lolz. But come to think of it, nationals are over... We sort of retired le... *sadded* At least cheng jing yong you rite? Lolz... Nvm... alumni is here again... Got that very sey feeling again liao... heez... Basketball rulez....!!
Not another day... ... ...
14:05 Guess what... I got back my results... - Math 9233 = of cos is F - General Paper = Nil (never take paper) - Chemistry = AO - Biology = E Haha... At least i have a E,Ao,F... for not studying... Haha... Haiz... salahudin and kwek came to tok to me... Oh well, admitted that i didn't study... *shrugs* And i promise them that i will starting from today... So i guess i have too le... *sigh* BBALL Yday, i went back for basketball training. I tot i was kinda late le when i reach there at around 4.45... Who knows... At the court, there was onli mr kee sitting there and no1 else... This was never the case for my batch. Wad the hell are the jc1 doing?? I saw them sitting in the canteen tho... Thursday, July 15, 2004
Barnie Show?
12:00 I was sitting in the living room again. This time it was 11am. Haha... Yapz, i skip school again... Haiz, couldn't wake up in the morning man. Cos last night i went to the concert than still go for supper until quite late. Basically, i just don wana go school la... -sigh- This time in the living room, my little cousin was watching this vcd. It's about christmas and barnie. It was a total childish show but it remind me of christmas. Haha... All the chirstmas carolings that i went to... Miss chirstmas so much man. Lolz... Oh well... Today is my self-appointed rest day... Haha... Didn't know what to do man... I guess i am gg to stay at coffee bean and slack... Yapz... maybe try to finish abit of my homework as well... Haha... If not, i'll never be able to catch up with the sch pace... Oh ya... have to study for periodic table test for tml as well... -.-|| Test again... so sian can... God... But i guess this is the life i chose from the start so i have to put up with it. *sigh* Oh ya...and for all those that were at the concert yday... Did jas and i surprised u guys? haha... We turned up in ties and shirt... Oh well... hahaha... For xt, xw and joyce.... Well done for the concert... *smiles* Monday, July 12, 2004
Just a LittLe sOmeThing...
22:35 I was sitting in the living room @ 5am in the morning with a cup of milo and a plate of instant noodles... I was all alone. All ard me was silence except for the soft music i was playing on the high-5 set. I felt the content-ness of just sitting there alone in silence, enjoying my food as well as the peace. I have decided that this is the type of life i want! I had always never failed to sacrifice the few hours of sleep just to content myself abit. However, i realised that it had been very very long since i last woke up so early. Anyway, i have a small story to share.... "once, there was this little girl. She came from what others might think as a very happy and fortunate family. Her parents and everyone else would flourish her with gifts and so she has never lacked of any material needs. Every other girl envy her. However, she is not happy at all. Although she got what she wants, she had a dreadful life. She had to attend all sorts of courses that her parents signed up for her and these courses took up almost all of her time. She could not do what she wants at all. She tried finding enjoyment in all the courses but she wasnt happy at all. She lived as such for years... One day, at night... SHe sneaked out of the house trying to get a breather...She walked along the deserted streets... the quietness and the calmness of the night made her realise what she really want in life. Guess what... It is the freedom in life that she really enjoyed. Sunday, July 11, 2004
It's Sunday Again
21:20 Oh well... Another sunday... Sunday actually holds a very special meaning... Exactly 11 sundays ago, this person who i like accepted me... And 11 sundays after (which is now) i still love the person. *grinz* This is a super busy sunday fer me. I had tuition with dr rahman and joyce at 1 to 3. Than i have to rush to char there to give her tuition. Everything ended at around 8. By then, my brain are all dead. Nothing in my head seems to be working at all. Haiz... Just to think, tml i still got this math test!! Mr kwek, can't i just don take it???!!!! Haiz... Wad's the pt of taking it when i noe i'm going to fail again?? I sat on the bed in my room. Everything in my room is blue. It's my fav colour... Yea, of cos everything in my room are stuffs tat i like rite? On second thoughts, wad do i really like? What do i really want to do? ...... In fact i know what i like and what i want to do. But in life, we can only do things that we need to do. And i just got this rebellious side of me not to do what i am suppose to do. Adults find me childish... But is that realli childish? To me, it is just a form of actions to hold a silent protest that i don't like what i am doing. But do they understand? NO! -haiz- this is life i guess... haha... *shrugs* Saturday, July 10, 2004
What is the world coming too?
12:09 Exams ended one week ago... I think i pratically failed everything... -godz- Oh well... Wad to do rite? Haha... Never really studied tho... -shrugs- School started... Life would be as busy as usual. Really like those carefree life during holidays... But good times never last i guess. Now is all about, tutorials, lectures, make-ups... Like lack of something rite? Yapz... It's bball... Oh well... at least this month still got interhse and alumni... Haiz... I suddenly realise how weak i am can... I no longer have the stamina to play bball le... i have no strength too. All thanks to the operation. *sigh* Anyway, i saw lichang yday... I was running to catch 25 than she sms me. She was in the 74 behind the 25. Than becos so long never see her le, than i drop at her stop to talk to her a while. Guess she didn't change much. Thinking back... Seems like i'm the one changing alot huh. Plus now my face totally change. God... Haha... Yday... Guess wad... I am down for p.e!!! *sobz* I mean i don mind gg... But i need to go for p.e because i am in TAF club?? Abit stupid los... Than yday we ended school at 12.15... Slack ard a while than went gym with jas... Than went for bball... Than p.e... Than in the end ended in town walk walk. Life very happening huh... Hahaha... Where are all the 38s..? joyce with ds... Ruyi went home... Laoda and xt has drums... *sigh* I don't wana go school le!!!! Monday, July 05, 2004
Bad Day...
09:37 My blog spoil again... Trying to make something nice but in the end.... Haiz.... Dunno lar.... Today's pi qi not good.... Haiz.... Sunday, July 04, 2004
A long walk of memories...
20:16 My life is full of memories... Some is happy de, some is sad de. I believe everyone has their fair share of memories... Let's see... Happy memories... [-+-]It seems so little. All i ever remember is basketball. -trainings -friendly matches -eating fruits -crapping ard -nationals -malaysia trip Well... Basketball has taken a very very big part of my life. My whole jc life evolved around sr bball. The team rulez... But, once we step down, everything seem to be back to square 1. Oh well... At least in my heart, once in my life, i am part of the sr_bball team. 
[-+-]Another is Obs Went to Obs in the nov/dec period last year. It was a 9 day course. Went to the 5 days one b4. But i guess the 9 days one is more challenging and fun. We mixed with the other school ppl - SAJC,AJC,JI,SRJC... I very poor thing lo, was in the grp with barely ppl i noe... But lucky i'm very talkative... Kinda mix with the group very quickly. *grinz* It was realli a very very cool 9 days... Miss the obs ppl... -sigh- 
[-+-]Camps.... Peicai.... Councillor.... -Camps rulez... -councillor sux... But got fun times too... Lolz... -4e rulez... -SDR family rulez too... For the unhappy onces... I guess i shall just leave it all in my book shelves... *shrugs* Haha... Friday, July 02, 2004
My Last Day oF eXams...
23:59 *phEw* Today... Today is the last day of mid-yr. *cheers* Hee... Finally sort of regain my freedom for a short while before the school term starts again. Got 3 papers today. It is like god-damned long man. -sigh- But lucky it is over. *yes!* Anyway, after papers we went to meet yuenxin, deanna, gwen and yuanshi at ps.-me, jas and ruiyi. Went there and we ate long john. Fishy for me again. No choice, up till now i still have to eat soft food. Than... Heez... I brought a new billabong wallet. I think it is super cool but it is abit wide though. Anyway, i like it and that's the point. Hahaha... Than we took neos again. We have been like taking neos everytime we go out. Lolz... Anyway, today is our 2 month as well... I brought this small heart shape balloon with the pool bear in it for her from action city. Hope she likes it. Than we have dinner together at her house. After that i went amk central to meet jas and yuen. Haha... Anyway, i'm gg swimming with jas tml. lolz. Cool huh. Long time never swim le. Hee... Than jas ask if i wana go beach party at ecp. Actualli wanted, but now i'm abit broke lehz. Have been craving to dance and drink. Haha... Tok about drink than reminds me of that time pubbing with jas. Lolz... Jokers man. Okay la... I gg oi oi le... ZZZZzzzZZZZ... Nitez ppl. [love ya darling]*winkz* *pls... guess wad, that gay come tok to me again... *god* Haha... Saw my pic than keep saying i yandao... goodness... Hope he is not interested in me again... -.- I always tell him that i prefer gals and he don seem to get me.. *sigh* Thursday, July 01, 2004
A small poem...
23:36 Train... Train... Please take me away... Please take me far far away... To a place where no one knows me... To a place where i can start things afresh... To a place where all things are bright and happy... Please take me away... Train... Train...
What's wrong with my blog?? What's wrong with my life??
23:27 Oh wells... Something's wrong with the stupid bloggy of mine. Haiz... Hope i mend it this time round. Now is our mid-yrs. I don seem to even have the concentration to study. Usually when i don study, i'll feel that guilt, but this time round, i felt nothing. Simply nothing at all. *bad sign* Some stuffs happen lately... -xiuting buys us catus -Mid-yr -blog spoil -no life -studying sux **overall: Life really sux... I dunno how am i gg to manage my studies anymore. Sometimes it is not that i dunno how to do, it is that i didnt study. Felt really tired. I lost my goals once i found out that i was colour blind. My dreams of gg into the biomed sector is finished for good. I find it no pt for me to study anymore. Where am i gg to go after my A's?? I am equavalent to some unless ppl wondering around... -sigh- This sux... Anyway, i failed my mid-yr... BIG TIME. Haha... Seems like i no life le. My life evolved ard sch, hse, coffee bean and amk. That's all. This is sick los... I want to go out play. I want to do stuffs that i like. I do not want to be like a caged-up human. Study study and study. When will everything finish? I messed up my own life. Now i think i am messing up charlotte's life as well. I got her into great deep shit. To CHARLOTTE... Seems like wo hai le ni wor... Zhen dui bu qi. Alot of things have been going through my head. I knew u have to choose. It is just a matter of time. And i guess i can't do anything to salvage the already bad situation. I really don want u to get into any trouble in school or at home. Like wad i told u, i really hope the choice u make is gb. You must think of all the consequences and stuffs u noe. U tell me u want to grow up. Now, i tell u something, part of growing up is to learn to let go. Part of growing up is to learn to cover up ur misery, ur disappointment... Part of growing up is to learn to make decisions. Don worry bout me, i will know how to take care of myself. No matter wad happens, i will always be around for u. Love,grace Anyway, tml will be our 2 mth le. Sounds short, but actually quite long le. Hiaz... |
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