Grace's

Hm... Supposingly, today got exam de... Got Bio and Gp. But guess what, i didnt took any of the papers at all. I went to school feeling giddy and congested. I really felt so bad that i couldnt really stand up straight. They world seem to be spinning in my head. Haiz, all thanks to the packet of blood they once again took from me. Thanks all the 38s for taking care of me though. I think i scared them out of their wits. Anyway, Dr wong brought me to the sick bay while i waited for my mum to come and fetch me home. Yap, a irritating day though. I couldnt go to the N4 cluster games' meeting and i couldn't go to the VJC band concert with jasmine. -sigh- Lucky for the whole day got my darling to pei me talk and sms... Thankz dear. *winks* Hmm... Holidays le... My opt is getting nearer as well. Hope everything will proceed smoothly though. Alot of ppl askd if i'm afraid, and my answer is no. However, i cant denied that i am abit worried. To most, i am like those who is no afraid of pain and stuffs... Oh well, actually, i am afraid of pain lo. But wad to do? What has to be done as to be done. SO what is left for me is to face everything bravely. I MISS BASKETBALL. It seem like ages since i last touched bball. haiz... Guess i can only play bball after my opt. -sigh- Anyway, guess wad, i decided to go with the bballers to prom. Haha... Interesting rite? Dunno what i wana wear also. Suit? Dress? Hm, i promise char that i will wear what she want me to wear. Anyway, char say i look good in tie. Haha. See how bahz... YY is in hospital now. Hmm... hope she is alright.. GG to visit her tml after the N4 cluster games though. Haiz.. Jasmine very poor thing lehz. She just found out that lollipop has a bf le. God... SHe was super sad that day lo. And seriously, i dunno how to console her at all... Hope she is feeling much better le.
[jas]--> hey, lollipop is not the onli girl ard, cant deny that u liked her alot, but i guess, no matter wad, hope that when it is time to let go, u can let go. If u really feel very sad and feel like doing anything or wad, the 38s will always be ard. *smiles*

Tuesday, May 25, 2004

Never go school AGAIN 22:25

Hm, i never go sch again! Haiz, i think this is becoming a habit to me. I kept skipping school. I am like finding all sorts of reasons not to go to school. This is bad! GRACE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? I cant help it but to detest my life nowadays. Everytime i go school, all the tutorials and lectures are like overwhelming me. I cant seem to even breathe properly in school. I had always thought that i have a huge threshold for stress, but now, it doesnt seem so. I just feel like running away. Running away from everything. I just feel like leading the life i had in sec2. I missed mary. I missed strawberry. I missed the times i had. But, for now, char is the reason i am still hanging on... Love is so wei da hor. Haha. Anyway, i suddenly cant help it but to realise how selfish ppl can be. They only cared about their own. WHY? Issn't it that friends are impt as well? Issn't it a joy to see the ppl ard u being happy?

Problems...
Faults...
It is everyone's fault that a problem occur.
Why do everyone wana find someone to push the fault to?
To make them feel better?
Or to make their conscience clear?
Just admit it that u r in fault and u'll feel much better.

A small and cute girl she was
Quiet like a little rat
everytime i look at her,
she never fails to make my heart melt,
make me want to protect her,
make me want to hug her,
and make her mine
It was just my fortune that she let me on a special sunday
Just wana give u a 1 letter word, 4 letter word and a 3 letter word
I LOVE YOU

Monday, May 24, 2004

To Char and gui 20:01

[dear]--> Hey... Hmm... Guess wad, when i was at monks, i saw so many couples dancing together and stuffs... Can't help it but hope u r there... *sobz* ANyway, thankz for always being there for me when i needed... -smiles- U r the bez! Love ya always...

[nuer]--> Hmm... Life is always lidat de... Falling and standing up is part and parcel of life... What is most important is that when u fall, do realise y u fall. Crying really dont solve anything... Crying only make u feel better, but after u cry, so wad? It is still back to square 1... Whatever problems u r facing now, i guess everyone are facing it too in a way or another... It is just that they never say it out... (like u) Having Problems are just a way of learning what life realli is... I always tell my friend, now i say it to u... "Life is not about holding on to happiness onli... Life is about letting everyone ard u be happy and not onli u... Life is about learning to let go at the correct time... Life is about realising the mistakes u made... Life is about living it out on your own by falling and standing up again... .... .... Life is all controlled in your own hands by your own way."" All the bez to you... Jia you... -winks-

To van 19:36

Well.. Happen to chance upon your blog n char's.. Hmm.. U think that i change..? Well.. I didnt, guess u just didnt know me well enough.. No1 did i guess.. Maybe to u, i am a diff person already, this is up to u to think though.. ANyway, there no pt saying anything more to explain or stuffs.. But apologies for wadeva fault if u think i haven caused.. Sometimes i really feel worried for u.. Be more analytical at times.. it helps i guess.. Don alway believe things on the surface.. Look into situations, think, ask... Look at things from many many pt of view.. Guess, u also don bother wad i say, feel and everything.. Just a piece of advise... *shrugs*

Oh wells.... 18:57

]]Friday[[

Hmm... Early in the morning, i got up at ard 7. Guess wad, i went to the hospital for preadmission suffs... Took 147 with yy and my mum there... Early in the morning, my eyes haven open but i am already sitting there waiting for the number tag... It was a stupid day la. I took 2 small bottles or blood and i big packet of blood... After taking the blood i seriously don feel well lo... Actually i don have enoff blood for them to take de... But they ying ying yao na... So, no choice lo... buts... At nite, i still went clubbing with deanna, jas, yy, gui and miao... Haha... It was kindoff a hectic day for me... Rushing here and there with 2 bottles and a packet of blood lesser in my body.. Haha.. I went to charlotte's hse 1st... Than everyone was panicing lidat... Gui was thinking wad to wear... Miao was trying to do up the hair or something... Char was trying to get everything done asap so that she can meet her dad on time... Gui took one of char's dad tie... But i think it look better with my shirt leh... lolz... Well, tat's not the pt though... After that we went amk to help miao shop for a decent skirt... than we proceed to amk int to me yy and deanna b4 gg jas hse.. The bus trip to jas hse was super long lo... *god* Buts, we survived there i guess... Haha...

Boat quay
Oh well, meet jerome at the raffles place mrt than made our way to boat quay. When we reached there, instead of heading to monks or something, we went to find food... *hungry* hee... Until ard 10 than we strolled to monks... buts... monks no ppl lidat... so boring, plus we can no longer buy alcohol there le... SO instead we decided to go chocolate bar to drink instead... We ordered a jug of turkilla (i dunno how to spell) 7up... It was nice man.. Yy and deanna don like cos i think it is too strong le... In the end, it is me and jasmine finishing up the jug... There are peanuts too... After eating them, we took the shell all ard man... Haha... Most of it aiming at deanna's cleavage... +grinz+ Than gui and miao came along and ordered vodka 7up... i think it taste blend though... Haha... Than we play truth or dare... i kana-ed the dare once... guess wad, they made me kissed yy on the cheek for 5 sec... Haha... At first it was suppose to be either jas or deanna... Nah... HAha... I enthu lo... lolz... Than we went to monks to dance le... -cool- Dunno y but i liked dancing... Haha... In monks... we were trying desperately to teach deanna how to dance... she doesnt seem to be able to shake... Hahaha... almost everyone ard was luffing at her... Oh well, wad do u expect, it's deanna and it's her 1st time.. Hahaha... Anyway, i danced with quite alot of pple there though... Miao, ben, yy, deanna... ... ... Ben?? PB..?? Nah... who cares... Hahaha... Oh ya, ben can dance well though.. haha... we didnt go jas hse until next morning at 6 though.. We were sleeping ard at raffles there... Than had to reah sch at ard 7 to bathe and to prepare for sch... Whoa... really tiring... *god*

]]Saturday[[

Entreprenuer's day
Oh well... we were in charged of the dedication booth... But i guess all the 38s were all having fun... At first had some problem with the mp3s but in the end... All was fine and great... Jas and joyce did almost everything... Hey, u guys rox!!! 38 power... lolz... Than charlotte and gui came to sr to find me... *smiles* Guess it was kinda sian for them cos there is nothing to do while i have to mend the stall n stuffs... Sorri... -sigh-

College day
On the very same day after the entreprenuer's thingy, we still had to stay back for college day... Have to be in school by 3... Realised that we had some time so the bball ppl went heartland for mac b4 gg back to school... I was totally drained this very day... Weather was hot... No comfortable seat... WHao... Nearly bursted man... Sorri for my attitude ppl... *apologies* After the college day, me, jas and ruiyi went suntec for kenny rogers... *grinz*

]]Sunday[[
Whoa... Big walk...... God... I wonder where i got energy from... but i managed to walk the 7.5k with my big bag pack... i look as though i am gg camping or hiking... Stupid la... i thought there are places to put my bag, but it doesnt turn out to be so... But feel so satisfied... At least we finished the 7.5k walk... *smiles*

Tuesday, May 18, 2004

Never go school today -opps- =x 12:51

Oh well... Today couldnt wake up... My eyes are like only one line... Yday i do the typing until 2plus... Super tired man... Plus today morning got abit diarroeah. What's wrong with my stupid stomache?? *sigh* Wadeva man... Haiz... Anyway, now, sitting down and straightening my thoughts. Hmm, suddenly realised how words from mouth can be so "bu lao ren". -.- Distortion of words... Mulipulation of words... Exageration... Guess all these are all part and puzzle of life huh. Nah, actualli i am always a victim to such things but I don't like to do any explanation. Serve no purpose. The people can believe whatever they wana believe and whoever they wana side for all i care. -shrugs- In life, there is always so much grievance, so much hatred, so much revenge, so much worries, so much so much... But happiness seem so limited. -UNFAIR- [sIGh] Sometimes i just feel like shouting to some people out that, "come on! Have a LIfe!" Hmm... i think i am abit grouchy today... Lucky i never go school man... *phew*

Anyways, feel like drinking today... Dunno why but got the sudden craving wor. But well, gg monks on friday nite... Than i guess that night i wana drink until i song... Heez...

Change?? 00:28

Haha... Just changed my blog skin... Cool? It's blue again... Haha... Haiz... Another day juz passed lidat... Life's so bored... The thought of gg to school really bores me to death... Just don feel like gg to school lo... Anyway... It is like 2 more weeks than i am going to operation le... On the 4th june... I am gg to saty in the hospital on the 3rd june onwards. Hey guys, wana visit me then? Please bring paper... Haha... Don even know if i can open my mouth. Hope that the opt go smoothly than i will become a super duper yandao and a super duper meinu... Hahaha... *i am dreaming* - ignore me... Anyway, i went to play bball with jas, char, guihe and miaoting... They were realli funnie... As usual i dirtied my jersey AGAIN... Lolz...After that i send my dear home and went hg mall to meet jasmine to study abit... Oh well... I think lately jasmine is not feeling too well... Because of lollipop... Haiz... Hope everything will be gg fine for her...

For jas: Well, sometimes, for somethings, it is better to learn to learn to let go... There is no point to hold on... Letting go may be a hard process, but u'll nv know if it is a better solution if u don try... Jia you wor!!

Haiz... Supposingly, i have a sec sch gathering tml at 6.30pm... We are gg k-box... Oh wells... I am still thinking if i should go... I dunno how they will react when they see me... I don care how others look at me, buts i kinda mind how they look at me... [sIgh]

To my sec sch mates: hey ppl, i realli dunno how u all will react when u see me... does being a crook make me a different person altogether in your eyes? Hey, i am still the same u noe... *puzzled* -scratch head-

To my dear kolar bear: -smiles- Thanks for the great time u have given me... You never fail to cheer me up and make me luff... Haha... Feel realli xin fu to have you by my side... Love ya.. -winkz-

To my nuer (crabbie) and miaoting: Well, u 2 are crapz... But fun... Haha... and funnie... Great time at the bball court... -winkz- U guys rox... Lolz...

To my bball mates: So grad nite gg together?? Hey, realli miss our training... Must come out play bball together, eat and walk walk... hee... And oh ya... We gg monks this friday, any1 interested, pls contact us... Must acc our bb junior too... -winks- SRBBALL RULEZ!!

Sunday, May 16, 2004

What the hell?? 21:43

Hmm... Guess wad, Van know about me and charlotte le... I am actualli not suppose to say anything bout knowing that van know bout it, but it just seems that the whole world noes le... Haha... Nah, who cares... Know than know lo... Feel like screaming out loud, "yea, so what if i am together with charlote?" Hmm... yday, i went to charlotte's hse to pei her before gg to her chruch with her and guihe... Yapp, guess wad, jasmine and yy plus deanna, renee and yanhui say van at hereen while they were queing to take neo prints... Haha... Guess something embarrassing happened according to jasmine... =xx After the library duty, i went to eat lunch at amk... after which i went to meet jas they all... on the stupid train, got this stupid bunch of guys (i think ard sec1 or 2) were deciding so loudly whether i was a guy or a girl... I got so fed-up with them that i b4 getting off the train, walked towards them and tell them right in the face that i am a girl... Whoa... Feel so zia... *winkz* Lolz... Anyway i met up with van at last at ps... Dunno why, but charlotte sounds realli afraid... [[Hey dear, don be afraid... U r the only 1 i love and no1 can take that away]] Yapz... haha...

Friday, May 14, 2004

[sIGh]...[sIGh] 12:35

Guess wad, i am in school now blogging... Lately, i didnt manage to have time to blog at home cos by the time i reach home,i have fallen asleep le... lolz... -pig- yappz... Haiz... Now everyone is obsess about their "her" man... Guess i am too... Lolz... Was at her hse these two day accompanying her cos she couldnt go out.. The day before, i stayed in her house until ard 9...Lolz... Played computer... Watch tv... And i cook food for her for dinner... *yum* Jealous anyone?? Lolz... Well, I had a great time and a great day... -grinz- My dear is a prefect housewife man.. Haha... She can cook... Anyway, she is so cute las... Always hopping ard in the hse... -grinz- Like some kolar bear... Lolz... Hmm... The second day, i went with jas... She cook fried dumplings and popcorn chicken for us with her friend(crab). Than after that, Jas went to use the com and me, her and crab watch movie... At the begining, we tried to watch the passion of the crist but it is in jew language so we couldnt understand. At last, we watch Romeo and juliet. It was a nice show but i didnt manage to finish it cos her mum came home halfway and me and jas rushed out of the house... Haiz... Than i went crab's hse to use the toliet. Than go online awhile... I think my dear kana scolding from her mum again... Don think she is alright be she refuses to tell me... I called her at 8plus and found out that she is crying... *piang* Heartache man... -omg- I feel abit useless... Wheneva she is sad, i like cant do anything also... [sigh] But she called me again at night to wish me good night though... Her hp is confiscated and she cant use the phone... So sadded... Hope she is fine though... Anyway, i suddenly realised that i have a super good nuer... She is always thinking for me de... Realli appreciate it! *Thankz* Don see her siao siao... ACtually she thinks alot de lehz... Haha... Hope she find her prince charming soon... *grinz* Good luck!

Tuesday, May 11, 2004

Life's so bored! 19:24

Haiz... Life is so bored lo... Everyday is the same routine... sleep, wake up, eat, go school and sleep... ARHH! Cannot tahan man... What i want is fun, play and play even more! But in actual life, i guess this is not possible huh... -siGH- Nah... Haha... Feel like gg clubbing man... Long long time never go dance and drink le... Feel like gg to de-stress abit bit... Kinda stress up by school work lately... *GrouChy* Anyway, didnt get to see my roti lately... Haiz... I end school so late... Hope tml i can see her... Miss her man...

Secretly using the com in School... Hee.. 10:55

Opps... I'm utilising the com in Sr man.. Hving gp now... Lolz... Well... Today got chem test lo... But guess what, I slept from 7pm last nite to 6plus this morning lo.. -pig- Lolz... I think i am gg to flunk the test man... -OMG-

Friday, May 07, 2004

Is this life..?? 23:29

Well... I have been thinking... What's wrong with ppl nowadays? The sudden outburst of feeling, the sudden craving, the sudden lust. I know that i am not fit to talk about anyone, but i cant help it but to feel this way... I am very worried for some of my friends lately... I am very afraid that they will turn crook... Well, though i am one, but sometimes just feel that it might be better to be more normal. I feel that i am encouraging them to turn crook and like girls - to get obessesed with girls, with their eye candies and crushes. Issit really that normal to have such a sudden out burst of feelings for ppl of the same sex? To have small crushes here and there of to have eye candies are prefectly fine, but to these extend of outburst is abit too much huh? haiz... Hope that it will remain an impossible thing for them now and forever. Why does humans need to have emotion? I got this good friend of mine suddenly asked me one day. "why did u turn crook?" WHY?? In fact i also dunno why. Just know that one fine day i prefer girls more than guys? Do ppl look at crook and judge them differently? Everybody are the same regardless of their sexual preferences rite?? I am so glad that all my friends accepted me for who i am... At least all my friends in jc... For my secondary school friends than i dunno le. Haiz... When i know that i am crook, i am just prepared to lose my 4 years of friendship with them. [siGH]

Wednesday, May 05, 2004

Not another day... [siGH] 23:52

Well... ANother day passes by just lidat... Another day of emptiness... Just can't get use to the fact that i do not need to go bball training anymore... I MISS BBALL!!! [sIGh] School is still as boring as ever... My homework are like pilling up since b4 nationals... Bball is an excuse for me not to do homework... Buts... My excuse is no longer valid... It has expired! Guess, it is time for me to work abit harder... o_-

Heats...
WHat's wrong with sr'd sports heats?? Can't find replacement for absent runners...????!!! RIDICULOUS lo... Most of the draco teams are DQ becos of this stupid reason... ANd for no reason, those irresponsible ppl sign up but refuses to come for heats... ARHH! Waste my time waiting from 12.30 to 5 plus can... WAD THE HELL!!

ACC-ing my white kolar bear(prawn)... *grinz*
Anyway, after the heats, me and jas went to heartland to meet her and nuer.Than we went to serangoon to buy mother's day prezzie(her) and belt(nuer). Than she have to rush home lo... Have to reach hse by 6.30pm... Me and jas meetin up after i send her home though... Haha... SO decided that jas go to the swing and wait for me... Anyway, while we chased the bus 22, my bear slipped and nearly fell... Scared me man... Lucky i was ard and so i managed to catch her... *phew* But she like accidentally hit-ted my left cheek... i think it is quite hard as it is still abit painful up to now... No matter wad, fortunately, we managed to board the bus... *malu*

Anyway, am i really that slow..? Lolz... That time when i was together with van, joyce ask me if we had LC and when. When she knew when, she was like, "wow, that is super fast!!" Now i was telling her that i haven hold her hand... SHe was like, "whoa... 4 days le still haven..?? That is slow!!" Hmm... what does she expect..? Lolz... One too fast, one too slow... lolz... Wadeva.. Haha...

Monday, May 03, 2004

updates... 20:16

Some updates...
Well, i broke off with Van le... I broke off with her on 1/5/2004... Hmm... Felt sorry for van though in the sense that i was partly in fault..? -sigh- Well, seriously think that van should change her attitude towards things at time... If she continue on, it will be really hard to come out and study or work in the society... Hope for all the bez for her... And hope that all things work out the bez for her... Yappz..

Anyway now i am in love with this kolar bear of mine... Hee... She is a super cute and pettie girl... Sometimes i feel abit bad... It is like i just broke off with van and the next thing i know i am in love with this another girl... -godz- Somebody KILL ME!!!! -sigh-

19:49

Haiz... Today is the day that the bball regime is over... Sat in front of the com, just thinking of our usual bball trainings... Well, bball is over... Thinking about all the sweat, tears and happy moment we have had make me realli wana tear... But, i guess, all good things have to come to an end. Yappz... School realli sux... I just hate the tutorials and lectures... Everytime i will just either sit in the lecture hall or in the classroom stoning away or desperately copying tutorials... -duhz- boring lifestyle... Jasmine good lo, she always had her motivation to go school... *audrey* Mine motivation not in sch sia... Haiz... Sit in school look at teachers but my mind is thinking of [her]-my cute kolar bear. Godz... Anyway, today end school at 3... Than i went heartland meet her eat lunch with my nuer, budden had to rush back to school at 5 to celebrate miss rivera's bday... Than i reached school at 5 on the dot and she and my nuer is waiting near school... When yy, renee and ruiyi heard that she was near school, they rushed out to see her and that yy wanted to buy fruits (supposingly)... Haha... Guess wad, yy say that she is very cute... Hee... She is cute! lolz... Whoa... now having diarroeah... Alamakz... Dunno why lately so easy get sick... -sigh-

wilkommen

Loving you
Missing you
Forever
~~Letting go~~

all about me

GRACE.ZAVE.HEIKE

200 years old... 0.o
310707
Taken
Roadblock
Fluid
xinghua.peicai.srjc.nyp.ntu
choir.choir&cldds.bball.bball.slacker
material science engineering

LOVES

Her
all my friends
my family
bball
sentosa
tea
chip & dale
my com
my hp
chatting
slacking
chilling
music
dancing
L word
...........

tagboard

affiliates

[tanyaqi]
[NYPBBALL] [38gang]
[Ruiyi] [Deanna] [Yuenyan] [yanhui] [yansze] [Gwen] [Yenling] [Bamboo] [cheryl] [Renee]
[Jasmine] [Vanessa] [Fluffy] [Felicia]
[Animal farm] [charlotte] [Guihe] [Pam] [Lazykitty] [Sharon] [cong'cong]
[Anna] [serene] [Shirley] [WanQin] [Curry fishhead] [jerome]
[emily] [xiaobin]
[Cal'liling] [momo]
[Leanne]
[yunyun] [foen] [tangen] [xingting] [yawen] [weird] [xianglin] [jaslee] [zp] [stevie] [elaine] [tangen] [chunli] [jintong] [loo bird bird] [Ivana] [Yanling]

keep them in clouds if you want.